Wednesday, January 30, 2008

vulnerable

i am sure most of you have noticed that i don't post as much anymore.

things have been busy. life is happening. work is bustling. i am starting to meet new people like crazy. my life is full and vibrant.

my mom is going in the hospital tomorrow for some surgery. she has been pulling the classic mom moves. making lists. schedules. appointments for all of us. she has a list of people we need to call when she gets out of surgery. yes. she is a woman and a mom. I called her tonight (she goes into surgery for 12noon tomorrow) and it's hard to hear a woman and mom, someone who has all my life been the one pushing me forward, to be so stuck and scared. It's only a surgery i tell myself, people do this stuff all the time. I try to cheer her up with the usual banter. and get off the phone and really get how scared she is. She rarely shows her vulnerability, definatley a trait i adopted from her, so when she does it's hard to swallow.

I know all will be well. I think the toughest part is seeing her scared. She has been so great this whole week and leading up to it. The hardest part was asking "mom, are you scared" and instead of the usual banter, she said "yes, I think I am". I returned with a "me too, mom". what else can you say?

So keep my mom in your prayers and thoughts tomorrow. She is going to be amazing and a superstar (as usual) but the extra push (like she has always given me) will be nice.

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