Monday, January 24, 2011


For my whole life, I've avoided really loving a partner. Really risking true love, in fear of a heart break.  I was that person, who didn't have close relationships (or love relationships anyways). I always thought it was best, if I just stayed at a distance, that way, I would never get hurt.

Then the inevitable happens. and my heart gets shattered. And not in the way you think. Not in the way, that I finally let someone in and had that true love. In a way I never even noticed or was even a blip on my radar. My mom passed away unexpectantly. I'm pretty sure, that's as big of a heart break that I'll ever get....and looking back, I think to myself how silly I was.

How silly to think that I was making myself untouchable and the whole time, I was raw and vulnerable.

Moving forward from this. I'm walking away fully loving, playing full out. Who knows what's not on my radar. Who will blow me away. or who will break my heart. Letting go of trying to control who's in and who's not......

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