me me me

it's hard to focus on me. without actually making things about me.

you will remember part of my new years resolution is to be about me. everything about me. what makes me happy? where do i see me being? what does me want? me me me. i treat myself with respect and put me first. the rest of my life will follow suit.

what makes this so hard. is when i put me first...not to make things about me. let me explain. i was stood up tonight. i make that about me. that i am alone on a friday night. was about me. It took something to turn that around. and to make it a positive. In fact had nothign to do with me. things came up. people had to do things...and without me...it happens. it doesn't mean that I am uncool. it doesnt' mean that people don't want to hang out with me. and most certainly the decision to stand me up...was about them. not about me... I think it's just a matter of time until I am able to take this on sooner. Right now it's taking a standard few hours of upset. tears. cussing. then....something snaps and i think...it's not about me. THIS is not about me.

In a few months I will be able to make everything about me...without making everything about me. It will just take some practise. like riding a bike.