New Ink

January 31, 2011

My mom loved flowers. all kinds of flowers. her favourites were blue roses though.  How eccentric.

At her service, almost every bouquet that we received had lilies in it. Shortly after her service, my sisters and I, had a tattoo of Lilies put on our bodies.

My baby sister, had a lily on her side and my little sister got lilies on her feet. I decided to put one on my arm. The blue, of course, represents my mom. The pink and purple one represents my sisters and the orange one represents trust.  Most people pay for art on walls, I've just invested in my body art.....I'm so happy I did it. and loved the process. I know mom would be touched that it's honour of her. 

Love.

For my whole life, I've avoided really loving a partner. Really risking true love, in fear of a heart break.  I was that person, who didn't have close relationships (or love relationships anyways). I always thought it was best, if I just stayed at a distance, that way, I would never get hurt.

Then the inevitable happens. and my heart gets shattered. And not in the way you think. Not in the way, that I finally let someone in and had that true love. In a way I never even noticed or was even a blip on my radar. My mom passed away unexpectantly. I'm pretty sure, that's as big of a heart break that I'll ever get....and looking back, I think to myself how silly I was.

How silly to think that I was making myself untouchable and the whole time, I was raw and vulnerable.

Moving forward from this. I'm walking away fully loving, playing full out. Who knows what's not on my radar. Who will blow me away. or who will break my heart. Letting go of trying to control who's in and who's not......

crochet projects

My first crochet project

Whenever my mom was at home, whether she was watching tv, chatting with friends or just relaxing, for as long as I could remember, she always had some knitting or crochet project in her hands she was working on. Always.   She would make us hats, mitts, scarves, blankets, you name it (minus socks, she hated making socks) she'd make it for us.

I've also always liked knitting and crocheting, but not to the same extent as my mom. She was left handed and I was right. So i'd often ask her for explanations on stitches and things and she could barely have enough patience to explain it to her fumbling right handed daughter! FOr years, I knew how to knit, and would knit scarves. I could do scarves in garter stitch and that it's.

My second crochet project

My mom passed away a few months ago. And since then. I've taken a knitting class and know crochet. I feel so close to my mom when I'm knitting and crocheting. I feel even closer to her when I'm making her granddaughter (my niece) mittens or hats.  I'm still beginning. but it brings me so much peace and happiness. I haven't really done any other crafts since I've picked up the wool. I'm enjoying it that much.

Here are the two dish clothes that we've done for homework in my crochet class. The first, well, it's not very square.....but by the second...I have it down pat.

Writing.

I've always considered myself a spiritual person. Sometimes. I just may need to listen a bit more. I pulled the "creative writing' card about three times in the last two weeks. I made it mean a whole bunch of things. 1) that I needed to write a book with/for my grandma (on our family history). 2) I need to re-do and start a new blog 3) Reports at work need to get complete.

Oh so very inspiring. and a whole lot of work!! After the third pull, i thought, I just need to write....so that's why I'm back. I was going to start anew, but why!? I have this already set up. and boy. do I have a lot to say. My angels can hear it. why couldn't I?

Teaching is a passion

Since I was a little girl, I have always known that I loved to learn. When I was in grade school, I would be that kid that would cry if I couldn't go to school! I lived in the country, where we would need to be bussed in, so a few days we would have snow days. If we heard on the radio the buses were canceled it was free reign not to go to school. I would be THAT kid that chose to request to her parents to drive her to school. Often my parents would oblige, as they knew if they didn't (which sometimes they didn't) waterworks would ensue.

Recently I have found another passion. Teaching. I have been teaching at the wisedaughters in the Junction. What a pleasant surprise. There is something just magical in showing people how to do something that they had no idea was possible. It's even more magical when I get to help facilitate a creative outlette for people. It's like a double wammy! Here are some pictures of me and my class in the local newspaper!

http://www.snapbloorwest.com/index.php?option=com_sngevents&id[]=135434

I have another class upcoming on February 6th and 10th (it's a two part class). To book a space contact the Wisedaughters at www.wisedaughters.com

non-blogger?

I think I am turning into one of those non-bloggers!! I can't believe it's been so long. I still faithfully read my friends and peers blogs, but when I go to post on mine...I simply turn away. I wonder why that is.

I have been very active lately. I took up running....yes. running. A little weird time to start running, as soon there will be snow on the ground. non-the less I am really enjoying the feeling or the high of running. I have so much more energy. Not to mention, I have lost 20 pounds now. I feel great.

And classes. I am in project management at the university of toronto....the class is really taking something from me. Stretching and moving me in many directions...its great. I like to learn. I am just stubborn on HOW i learn :)

I am also teaching classes at the WISEDAUGHTERS in the junction. I should post some of my work, so you can all see. The classes are going to be good fun! I have my first class of 12 people! I will be showing them how to pour resin...both into moulds and into bezels.....

Other than that. I have been enjoying jack and jeff (dog and cat) and have been avoiding the holiday season. I do need to start prepping for the holiday season though...I usually give jewelry etc...however. I haven't made anythign in a really long time!!

There you go. an update from the non-blogger :)

art classes vs dating

Art classes are very similar to dating to me.

Insert either....ART CLASS or a DATE....

(1) I get nervous before , sometimes I even try to get out of attending.
(2) I get apprehensive and doubt myself before - what if I can't pick it up quick enough
(3) what if they don't' like me
(4) after a success my mind spins. It's all I can think about. I obsess.
(5) i can stay up all night long after a good
(6) Days after I still daydream and think about new techniques

I need to do more of in my life :D

Welcome to YAC

Welcome to YAC

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i blame the weather change

I am starving all the time right now...totally blame the weather change!

yummy - eggplant lasanga

With losing weight, I am starting to become obsessed with food...in a much healthier way than before! Before eating looked like: as much as I wanted as long as it was delicious...and processed/packaged food was ok as long as it was quick and yummy.

Now: i am just obsessed with what people are eating, new ways of cooking, new foods and HOW to make things.

So I have to confess. Up until this point in my life, I have never bought an eggplant. I have tried it a few times, but never have I prepared it.

So i bought an eggplant. For a few days, I tossed and turned. I asked a few people how they prepare eggplant. I looked up recipes at www.sparkpeople.com...I do what I do best...THINK. Until eventually I thought, this eggplant may go bad (and now, wouldn't that be a sad story to tell everyone!)

How I ended up preparing it...was. I wanted to make an eggplant paremsian (I have had it prepared this way before---delicious) however, i didn't want to bread it. So...I prepared an eggplant lasanga!!

I fried the eggplant before using it....(apparently frying is good for eggplant..who knew?) Anyhow. I fried it in an olive oil. lightly.

Then I used the eggplant in place of noodles.

The sauce was crushed tomatoes, with garlic, spinach, red peppers, mushrooms, soy-ground-round and a dash of feta cheese. Topped with low-fat marble cheese.

Bake in the oven. and you have one delicious and yummy meal. I am salivating just thinking of it. It was so good, I shared it with my roomate!

career

My dream career:

A book reviewer!! I could read books day and night. How divine? The drawback would be when I had to read books I don't love.

I was reading the book" Love in a time of Cholera". And while the book and the writing is good, I hate the premise. Perhaps I'm over the whole serendipitious love thing, or maybe even a bit cynical. The whole entire book (ok, the whole half of a book I read) was devoted to two people who were 'soulmates' and tried to live their life apart. Each part of the book the other would be unhappy with their decisions to be apart of the other. OI OI OI. really? A whole book belly aching about the lost love of their life......I guess I want to believe that there are number of people out there that I could match and marry. Its not some kind of one-for-one debauchery. Rather, it's a type or traits that are matched. I also found it disheartening that two people would choice to live without the other, yet be miserable and do nothing about it.

Then again, maybe I am missing a major premise around the book......so I ditched it to read "the house I first believed' by Wally Lamb. So far. I am in love.....it's about the Columbine Slayings. I'm on page 78 and thus far can't peel it away from me.

progress.

It's funny how everyday i read blogs, but only once every 2 weeks do I think to update my blog.

My life is very full at the moment. It's kinda like the jiffy oven-top popcorn. when you see it overflowing and it's almost ready to burst. and almost ready to burst in such a delicious way.

Speaking of delicious. I have lost 10 pounds. 10 healthy pounds. I started working on health on July 18th. And today - September 12th I am down 10 pounds. Not too bad. Somedays I feel like this is the progress of a turtle....but the turtle eventually gets to the destination right? I have been walking a lot in the evenings that I am home, so I feel very bonded to Jack and to my neighbourhood.

The Toronto Clothing Show preperations are coming along quite nicely. I say i need to do every show with a pack of amigos. It certainly makes the lead up a lot LESS stressful. I mean, the Toronto Clothing show itself is pretty daunting to me. As up to now - i have only participated in festivals (and outdoor festivals) so being inside at a large convention hall (or the Better Living Centre at the Exhibition) puts a whole new feel to the game. So its really nice to have a slew of amigos to rely on. The other thing it does, is help us PLAN things better. When I set up my own booth - I often wait on the most important aspect (set and marketing) so it's nice to have it all set up and ready. now. I am working on packaging (so Carmi's post here was great!) and inventory. Resin is oozing from my ying-yang....not too mention i have encapsuled Jack and Jeff's DNA a little too much! I am starting to see little jack and jeff hairs everywhere...that means the studio needs a good vacccuum!

Off to read a bit - -- imagine that? A full and active life and I am reading a FICTION book. Life is grand.

community classes

I am looking for artists or talented people that would like to share their skills and talents with others! I am hosting some classes in my local community (Bloor and Lansdowne) and need some poeple who would like to share their talent with others. Your skill/talent can be anything...knitting, guitar, painting, etc.

Want to teach? contact me billijo.cox@gmail.com

The Toronto Clothing Show

I am starting preparing for my next shows. This year, I will be at the Toronto Clothing Show, with the WiseDaughters. There is a collective of 5 artists that are showing under the Wisedaughters umbrella.

The show is from September 25th - 27th at the better living centre at the Exhibition Place. (195 Princess Boulveard)

my manifesto

I started a private blog (it may become public one day). but it's a tracking of my weight loss progress online. I am posting my actual weight weekly (which is why it's private) Yowsers!

But the really great thing that I did for my website was complete my manifesto. Here it is. I love it.

bJO's Manifesto

I am a woman. An artist. A lover. I make jewelry. resin. and other adornments.

I believe in happily ever now before happily ever after.

I love the internet; the blogosphere; the twitterverse; the flickrdom. I love Google and google everything.

I spend a wallop of my time overwhelmed and swallowed up by the relentlessness of time.

I believe everyone should have a creative outlet to let their inner child out.

I become obsessed with learning about different lifestyles and the way people live.

I am at my peak when I am learning new things.

I’ve never been more happy than when I am outdoors with friends and my four legged companion.

When my cheeks hurt so bad its like they’ve done a thousands sit-ups, I know its been a great day.

I grew up believing everyone finds their happy ending and that true love and excitement are birthrights.

I love dancing in my living room.

I talk to my dog/cat like they are the Buddha.

I root for the underdog and care passionately about preserving the good that makes us human.

I wish all of us women could rest unwavering in the sureness of our worth, daily.

I am attracted to people who dream big.

Sometimes I love drinking too much wine.

I believe in magic. ghosts and love.

I am intrigued by ‘a deeper truth’.

My friends find comfort in that I am the last to judge and the first to smile.

Silliness is a virtue, somewhere.

I believe everything happens for a reason and its up to you to determine what that reason is.

Reading for hours is like lingering all afternoon in bed with a lover.

Happiness is a choice, and anything less is stubborn procrastination.

My feeling is that life is meant to be lived big, bold, and wonderfully.

I am a foodie.

I achieve to make the world a better place than when I found it.

Inspiration comes from action

an update. It's funny how I feel if I am not doing art, I shouldn't be contributing to my blog.

I am inventing a new possibility of having my blog reflect what I am doing in my life, this includes art...but is not limited to just art. Stay tuned.

So just WHAT have I been up too if it's not art?

Well. I have been getting very inspired. I visited a cottage for 4 days with some very dear friends. I actually wrote family then backtracked. they aren't my bio family, but rather my created family. hm. created family rawks.

I have been working on my health. I have a commitment through my self expression and leadership program to lose 20 lbs in 4 months and to be fully self expressed in my life. Self expressed thus far has meant when something doesn't go how I expected, or I am upset, I have actually been saying something. I have had 2 revolutionary conversations in expressing myself, just today! it's mind blowing how I have lived my life for so many years afraid of expressing myself. I didn't want people 'not to like' me. so i would walk away, totally not be expressed, but would vent to others about the actions (and almost lack of my own actions). So far--self expression is rocking. I am enjoying the ease and freedom I have.

And on the first commitment of losing 20lbs. I am down 8 already! In just 3 weeks. 8 pounds. It feels great. the words that are really hitting me right now is Inspiration comes from action. I am in action around my weight and am so inspired.

I think that might be my new motto : Inspiration comes from action.....

etsy

It sure has been awhile since i have updated my etsy store!! I am putting up some images now, and just realized that they are all too big! I need to go and resize all 120 pictures.

In the meantime. My first resin necklace has been added. It's Fred Flinstone!

www.etsy.com/bjodesigns

new art projects are so inspiring

it is a rainy Sunday morning and I have no commitments!

I get so inspired by new art. taking on projects that aren't my usual...like perhaps today I will paint. or collage. both of those really bring out my creativity.

I am so excited! Happy Sunday and Happy pride!

catching up on the internet

I am a libra and I enjoy balance. Sometimes, I find that things get a bit off balance. Like, before attending a show I will produce and work in my studio way more than work on the internet (PR), accounting, filing, working on my etsy store, posting on my blog etc. This week I hope to update my world wide web presence along with prepping for my mastermind group on Friday.

This will help balance me out.

big on bloor meets rain

its' finally here. the big on bloor festival. I had friends come over last night and help finish the packaging on all the resin pieces.

The forecast says rain, rain and more rain. Ugh. i have been eloquently singing 'rain rain go away, and come again another day'. I know that it will deter some people from coming to the festival.

I have 30 minutes before I need to start packing. I have been up for 5 hours, drank 2 glasses of coke zero and downed some cheesies. YEs. Festivals make me nervous and I turn into a teenager. It's somewhat suiting as most of my stuff is now geared to the 'teens'.

If you can brave the rain...stop by and see me! Big on bloor festival. I am located at bloor and Duffierin. The event runs from 1pm - 9pm.

Hope to see yoU!