New Ink

January 31, 2011

My mom loved flowers. all kinds of flowers. her favourites were blue roses though.  How eccentric.

At her service, almost every bouquet that we received had lilies in it. Shortly after her service, my sisters and I, had a tattoo of Lilies put on our bodies.

My baby sister, had a lily on her side and my little sister got lilies on her feet. I decided to put one on my arm. The blue, of course, represents my mom. The pink and purple one represents my sisters and the orange one represents trust.  Most people pay for art on walls, I've just invested in my body art.....I'm so happy I did it. and loved the process. I know mom would be touched that it's honour of her. 

Love.

For my whole life, I've avoided really loving a partner. Really risking true love, in fear of a heart break.  I was that person, who didn't have close relationships (or love relationships anyways). I always thought it was best, if I just stayed at a distance, that way, I would never get hurt.

Then the inevitable happens. and my heart gets shattered. And not in the way you think. Not in the way, that I finally let someone in and had that true love. In a way I never even noticed or was even a blip on my radar. My mom passed away unexpectantly. I'm pretty sure, that's as big of a heart break that I'll ever get....and looking back, I think to myself how silly I was.

How silly to think that I was making myself untouchable and the whole time, I was raw and vulnerable.

Moving forward from this. I'm walking away fully loving, playing full out. Who knows what's not on my radar. Who will blow me away. or who will break my heart. Letting go of trying to control who's in and who's not......

crochet projects

My first crochet project

Whenever my mom was at home, whether she was watching tv, chatting with friends or just relaxing, for as long as I could remember, she always had some knitting or crochet project in her hands she was working on. Always.   She would make us hats, mitts, scarves, blankets, you name it (minus socks, she hated making socks) she'd make it for us.

I've also always liked knitting and crocheting, but not to the same extent as my mom. She was left handed and I was right. So i'd often ask her for explanations on stitches and things and she could barely have enough patience to explain it to her fumbling right handed daughter! FOr years, I knew how to knit, and would knit scarves. I could do scarves in garter stitch and that it's.

My second crochet project

My mom passed away a few months ago. And since then. I've taken a knitting class and know crochet. I feel so close to my mom when I'm knitting and crocheting. I feel even closer to her when I'm making her granddaughter (my niece) mittens or hats.  I'm still beginning. but it brings me so much peace and happiness. I haven't really done any other crafts since I've picked up the wool. I'm enjoying it that much.

Here are the two dish clothes that we've done for homework in my crochet class. The first, well, it's not very square.....but by the second...I have it down pat.

Writing.

I've always considered myself a spiritual person. Sometimes. I just may need to listen a bit more. I pulled the "creative writing' card about three times in the last two weeks. I made it mean a whole bunch of things. 1) that I needed to write a book with/for my grandma (on our family history). 2) I need to re-do and start a new blog 3) Reports at work need to get complete.

Oh so very inspiring. and a whole lot of work!! After the third pull, i thought, I just need to write....so that's why I'm back. I was going to start anew, but why!? I have this already set up. and boy. do I have a lot to say. My angels can hear it. why couldn't I?

Teaching is a passion

Since I was a little girl, I have always known that I loved to learn. When I was in grade school, I would be that kid that would cry if I couldn't go to school! I lived in the country, where we would need to be bussed in, so a few days we would have snow days. If we heard on the radio the buses were canceled it was free reign not to go to school. I would be THAT kid that chose to request to her parents to drive her to school. Often my parents would oblige, as they knew if they didn't (which sometimes they didn't) waterworks would ensue.

Recently I have found another passion. Teaching. I have been teaching at the wisedaughters in the Junction. What a pleasant surprise. There is something just magical in showing people how to do something that they had no idea was possible. It's even more magical when I get to help facilitate a creative outlette for people. It's like a double wammy! Here are some pictures of me and my class in the local newspaper!

http://www.snapbloorwest.com/index.php?option=com_sngevents&id[]=135434

I have another class upcoming on February 6th and 10th (it's a two part class). To book a space contact the Wisedaughters at www.wisedaughters.com

non-blogger?

I think I am turning into one of those non-bloggers!! I can't believe it's been so long. I still faithfully read my friends and peers blogs, but when I go to post on mine...I simply turn away. I wonder why that is.

I have been very active lately. I took up running....yes. running. A little weird time to start running, as soon there will be snow on the ground. non-the less I am really enjoying the feeling or the high of running. I have so much more energy. Not to mention, I have lost 20 pounds now. I feel great.

And classes. I am in project management at the university of toronto....the class is really taking something from me. Stretching and moving me in many directions...its great. I like to learn. I am just stubborn on HOW i learn :)

I am also teaching classes at the WISEDAUGHTERS in the junction. I should post some of my work, so you can all see. The classes are going to be good fun! I have my first class of 12 people! I will be showing them how to pour resin...both into moulds and into bezels.....

Other than that. I have been enjoying jack and jeff (dog and cat) and have been avoiding the holiday season. I do need to start prepping for the holiday season though...I usually give jewelry etc...however. I haven't made anythign in a really long time!!

There you go. an update from the non-blogger :)

art classes vs dating

Art classes are very similar to dating to me.

Insert either....ART CLASS or a DATE....

(1) I get nervous before , sometimes I even try to get out of attending.
(2) I get apprehensive and doubt myself before - what if I can't pick it up quick enough
(3) what if they don't' like me
(4) after a success my mind spins. It's all I can think about. I obsess.
(5) i can stay up all night long after a good
(6) Days after I still daydream and think about new techniques

I need to do more of in my life :D